Monday, August 12, 2013

My baby

Delaney, You are growing up so fast. Part of me is saying hurry. Hurry, get all the independence you can, your brother is coming soon! But then the other part of me says, She's only a year old! She's just a baby! This part of me mourns the loss of the baby in you. My baby. Your nickname used to be "Tiny" but you really aren't tiny anymore. I watch you struggle to do things by yourself, to try and be "big" like your sister. You know how to be "big" now and are just disappointed by your limitations. Those little legs just can't quite get you up on the couch sometimes. You stare intently at me while I talk to you, the power of language just out of reach.

Although your babyhood will be cut short in just a few months, I have loved our time together. I feel like babyhood is a sacred time in one's life, where the connection between you, Heaven, and your earthly mother is all very close. I have loved having you so connected to me. I am confident that this bond we have formed will allow you to go on to do great things. I will always be your mother. And now I must make way to form another connection, to again be the world for one person.

I know I am the lucky one. I am the one that gets the chance to be so close to Heaven again. I am the one that gets to spend hours soaking in those tiny little toes, to bask in the miracle of a tiny body being formed in me and then see its fruition into a beautiful, god-like form.

Though you may not remember our time together, Delaney, know that it was a special time we shared. I basked in your light just as I will your brother's. We had plenty of time where I appreciated your baby-ness, I felt our hearts beat in rhythm and snuggled your little body next to mine. Motherly love is a gift from God to babies. My gift from God is you.


Your Mother

1 comment:

  1. Ashley I love your blog. You are so insightful and positive and I just wish you were my next door neighbor.