Tulips on the Table

This scripture has been such a motivation to me the last several weeks after Ben and I first read it together.  It's amazing to me to think that my faith, the small and simple actions I take within my own home, and my own personal habits of faith, can actually benefit other people for good. This scripture refers to Abinadi, a prophet in the Book of Mormon who preached the Gospel to a people who were very unreceptive, and they eventually took his life. I don't imagine he knew while he was alive the impact he had on Alma, someone who was listening to Abinadi's words who eventually changed the course of his life, forsook sin, and led many to do likewise. Your habits are really not "personal" at all, and can benefit everyone! #sharegoodness #livebyfaith

A post shared by Ashley Dilsaver (@ashley.dilsaver) on Sep 17, 2017 at 6:03pm PDT

This morning before I was fully awake the thought popped into my head that I should listen to the talk 'Certain Women' by Sis. Burton ('certain women' refers to the women who followed Jesus, as mentioned in Luke 8). Last night Ben and I had prayed fervently for me to receive heavenly help and guidance for the coming week, so I did not take this somewhat "random" thought lightly. Summer is usually the time when I feel my best, but for some reason I've been really struggling the past few weeks staying positive and confident in my mothering abilities and pushing past my own personal weaknesses.  Finally, this evening, I had a few quiet moments where I could listen to it. I was so motivated by this talk. So uplifted and filled, reminded of the kind of person I want to be and can be if I choose faith over fear. It seems a small thing that I must do-- stay positive and look for the good. And it's not a voice of love that convinces you that you can't do that. The One who loves you tells you what you really are: strong, faithful, a certain woman.  It's worth a listen if you have the time. You can find it on conference.lds.org

A post shared by Ashley Dilsaver (@ashley.dilsaver) on Jul 24, 2017 at 6:03pm PDT

Today I was a r.o.u.g.h. day. I was ready to admit defeat. I couldn't parent anymore. The kids won-- I didn't want to fight it anymore. But in my hardest moment I prayed and I pleaded with my Father. In prayer I said I was totally and utterly out of ideas. I had exhausted all of my efforts to get out of this hole myself, and I was ready to give this burden over to Him. I knew the Lord could perform miracles, but it was really only with a small particle of faith, a mere "desire to believe" as it says in Alma 32:27 that I held out hope that things could get better.  I listened all day long to hear what the Spirit would teach me. Sometimes I think that quote by President Hinckley about, "Get on your knees and pray and then get on your feet and work" can mean mental work-- being open, listening, and being prepared to be taught. I listened while I read the scriptures and conference talks. I listened while I talked about it with Ben, who always has wise counsel for me. And I listened as I watched on the Mormon Channel, "Teaching Your Kids the Joy and Importance of Parenthood" as I did the evening's dishes. There Sister Oscarson said this phrase that touched my heart, and helped me culminate all the direction I received into one place. And now I can remember this and let it guide me: What I am doing as a parent is a gift. It's a chance to learn. It's a chance to sacrifice. And that is more important than anything else I could ever do.

A post shared by Ashley Dilsaver (@ashley.dilsaver) on Jul 11, 2017 at 5:34pm PDT

It seems like in life, a lot of good things happen, but we aren't always aware enough to remember or recognize that they are there.  After a fight with Cheyenne, Delaney said to me (or should I say yelled at me) yesterday, "Mom, everything's been horrible since Cheyenne got done with school!" But I knew that was not true-- they had had many fulfilling days of playing together, pretending together, jokes and laughs. As I pointed this out to her I couldn't help but think of myself, and how many times I've done that same thing-- painted my whole life as black when in reality it wasn't. *** I've been trying to figure out what to do with my blog and this has been the answer: recognize the good, learn from the bad, and record that. "Tulips on the Table" has been the metaphor that has helped me recognize the good. More #onmyblog today.

A post shared by Ashley Dilsaver (@ashley.dilsaver) on Jun 12, 2017 at 7:57am PDT

Tonight I was thinking about awesome quote. Society tells us love is physical attraction, a "spark," or romantic dinners by candlelight. It's such a limiting way to look at somebody you've spent years with, and plan on spending many more years with. Love is a choice. Sometimes I can get caught up in such a narrow view of love, and I rob myself of the joy that is right in front of me, the love I already have. Choose to see love as more. This is something I've been trying to focus on lately. #tuesdaynightthoughts #marriage #loveismore #loveisachoice #divinelove

A post shared by Ashley Dilsaver (@ashley.dilsaver) on May 2, 2017 at 5:16pm PDT