Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Five powerful lessons from seven years of marriage

It's late afternoon and the sun is streaming through our bedroom window. Something catches my eye, and I look up. I see our wedding picture reflected in the mirror on the wall. 

A thought occurs to me. It's like I'm looking through one of those temple mirrors, looking back on that special day seven years ago. I don't know that I could have imagined what our relationship would...

 have looked like after seven years, what our challenges would have looked like, or how I would have grown. It's been a wonderful seven years, and every year I become more and more grateful for the man that stands beside me.

5 Powerful Lessons

Are the lessons in the details?

My original thought was to go into detail on each of these, but because it's a post about what I learned, and not about what I'm doing wrong, it somehow made me look like some kind of saint, which I certainly am not. Also, some of the lessons I have learned have been at the expense of Ben's weak points, and since this is my public blog and not his, I didn't think it was fair to him. The older I get the more I realize how sacred marriage is, even the challenges, and it's a blessing when it's shared only between two people. It is safe to say that all marriages have their own struggles, and you can rest assured that you are not alone in any problem you face in marriage. My cousin posted something funny on Facebook about how your relationship status may say "married," but the "it's complicated" is implied. 😄😄 Everyone's marriage is certainly complicated in its own way! But you learn to live with each other, and you grow together.

 I have learned a lot these past seven years, and it's part of my nature to share what I learn with others. So I wanted to leave these lessons here for others to interpret as they may. My hope is that the things that I have learned will help someone else see how they are blessed, and inspire humility and selflessness in all of us. These five things have helped me love more, enjoy marriage more, and become a better spouse.

1. Love is choosing not to feel entitled to the gifts your spouse doesn't have.

2. Love is believing your spouse's shortcomings are not personal attacks on you.

3. Love is deciding that the way your spouse shows love is good enough for you.

4. Love is not blaming your spouse for your own problems.

5. Love is forgiving, and forgiving, and forgiving.

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