Thursday, June 11, 2015

Dear You Who's Broken

Note: this is a letter I wrote to myself on a particularly hard day.

Dear You who's broken,

You feel like you can't do anything right. How can you possibly go on when you haven't figured out one thing? Your weaknesses are so overwhelmingly obvious that no one can relate with you. Not one person.

You just want one person to comprehend how obvious your faults are to you, and how they tear at your flesh. You want to be able to do that Hard Thing every day.  All you want is validation, one person, any person, to understand that how you live is a good effort.

But it's not that. That's not what you really need, someone else to validate. But neither do you need a self-validation. What you need is God-validation.

If you were in Jesus' presence? What would he say?

His wouldn't be a pep talk. Neither would it be a condescending pat on the shoulder. His answer is: "I know you." His responses is always utterly and completely love.  He can love so well because He knows you better than you know yourself.

Those weaknesses you are concerned about? They are but a small blip on the expanse that is You.

You are God's daughter. You've inherited all of his traits. The expansiveness that is God is also what has been included in your soul.

What if this life is not about overcoming weaknesses, but about more fully accepting who you are? What if it's calmly, confidently, accepting that God is who you are, and the more you accept it the more you will see God in your actions. If you quit focusing on the "mistakes" and "weaknesses," and tried to see the expansive good qualities of God in your life, you would realize them.

What if instead of focusing on and rooting out your ugly parts, you instead covered them with all different shades of goodness. Becoming God. God's goodness realized in yourself.

Kindness of all different shades. Humility, happiness. Laughter. Smiles. Gratitude. Focus on these, think about them. Let them cover your whole outer shell. If you chance to peek under the flowers these produce, are your weaknesses still lurking underneath? Gone. They were never really the real "you" anyway. And as a bonus? They turned out to be fertilizer for those things you so wished for. All that's left of your dross, your dead, ugly parts is good, fertile soil.

Wipe those tears away now.  You just don't know yourself well enough yet. Not like Jesus does. Those weaknesses you're worried about? The ones you think make a longer list than your good points? You simply haven't gotten to know enough of the good points. And the list is long. Really long. Because it's God's list.

Fill your heart with gratitude that you are His! That can never be taken away from you. Embrace Him. Embrace all that He is, and give it wings to fly.

You are a daughter of God.


  1. You are such a great writer, I wish I had that ability to convey what I'm thinking and feeling so eloquently on paper. It's true you are a doughtier of God (and you are doing a great job!)

  2. It been a rough few weeks for me... I needed a new perspective, thanks for providing it. :)